School Dress Codes and Black Hair

A friend recently asked my thoughts about recent articles and protests  about how Afro hair styles are viewed by educational establishments.

In my opinion, twists, braids, funky dreads, traditional locs - everything up to and including so-called ‘unseemly’ freeform locs should be acceptable everywhere. 

Smart dress requirements should not be tainted by preferences for Caucasian attributes.

A black girl with the kinkiest, tightly coiled 4c type natural hair pulled back in a low bun with zero gel and ‘laying of edges’ should not be considered any ‘messier / unprofessional / unkempt’ than a Caucasian, curly haired girl who has pulled her own hair back into one, in exactly the same way.

‘You can’t get away with that, because your hair responds differently.. ‘ reinforces the incorrect assumption as white as the default, the norm, and anyone NOT white as ‘other’.

I dispute any idea that ‘we’ have to do more to our natural hair .. have to put in work to hide our hairs natural attributes to make it palatable and attractive.

Away from the religious basis, I simply dispute the idea that a badly done weave or plaits formed from horse hair or cut from an Asian or European woman, then woven around my head, is somehow ‘better’ than the hair that comes out of my scalp.

Recovering from an Abdominal Myomectomy Procedure Pt 3: Home sweet home.. or coughing is of the devil

I wish I had recorded my recovery properly instead of trying to remember it in retrospect but the reality is, I was sleeping a LOT - stringing together phrases would have felt like far too much of a chore. After six weeks at home I was into a phased return at my job and my focus was readjusting to the weekly schedule.

I thought, rather than painstakingly trying to recreate the stages I went through for this post, I would collate a few tips and 'lessons learned' for others.

Ask whoever is taking you home to bring at least one pillow/cushion with them. Place it between your stomach and the seatbelt when you get in the car. Get them to drive SLOWLY.. When you get home, take a dose of whatever painkillers were prescribed to you during the hospital discharge process - if you don't you are going to feel the trauma of the trip home the next morning.

Keep AHEAD of the pain, don't deny yourself prescription drugs to see if you can handle it (this may be obvious to some, but I had to be told this after a rough day).

If you have been prescribed other medication such as an anticoagulants (blood thinner) and iron supplements, keep up with regular doses as instructed to avoid unnecessary complications

Sleep as much as you need. I know loved ones want to visit, showing support and checking you are okay, but sometimes that adds unnecessary pressure to stay awake and 'entertain' when your whole body is exhausted.

Use as many pillows as you need to prop your body in a way where you can sleep.. if you don't live alone, get a bed to yourself somehow. If, like me you had Zoladex injections prior to your operation, remember you're dealing with severe pain ADDED to day and night sweats. You can't reach out for covers if you're freezing because you just can't grab and pull ANYTHING without feeling like your whole stomach is about to drop out.

Coughing (and laughing) hurt like.. I can't even think of an analogy here. THEY JUST HURT. You can't do much about the coughing, but I'd suggest you DON'T take the opportunity to catch up on boxsets of your favourite comedy series in the first couple of weeks at home.

Don't do too much! Have someone decant milk / juices into smaller containers so you're not lifting anything too heavy. For the first week at home get into the habit of microwaving a cup of water instead of struggling with a kettle full (or as a friend discovered, using a little travel kettle is perfect).

Listen to your body. You will soon become familiar with an internal feeling of a rope pulled too tight in your lower stomach if you walk or stand for too long, acknowledge that and rest - no pushing yourself too far and regretting it a day later.

Walk every day. As you feel improvement go a little further each time.

Be patient with yourself, you've been through major surgery. It may take six weeks to get back into the flow of your schedule but there is healing going on inside for at least six months afterward.


I think that's it from me. If you are reading this because you are about to have a myomectomy or are recovering from one, I hope this post has been of some use.

I wish you a very smooth recovery!

You should wear... more often..

People are strange.

People say strange things.

I doubt, if asked to explain their comments, they could even tell you why..

I've been thinking this week about the comments we (I'm going to say 'women', for the sake of argument), recieve on a regular basis about items of clothing,  hairstyles, colours etc that we choose to wear.

Admittedly I have no idea  how often other women recieve the type of comments I'm talking about, perhaps it's just me?!

So.. what I'm NOT talking about are random compliments, which are welcome. 'You look nice in that dress', that colour really compliments your skin tone (as a Black woman, it's more likely I would hear that than the equivalent 'the colour you're wearing brings out the colour of your eyes). As I said, these compliments are fine and welcome.

There are a different class of 'compliments' that recieve my raised eyebrow, "oh, I like your hair down" (said on a day when my hair is up), often followed with "you should wear your hair down more often".

Really?

The tone of disappointment in the commenting individuals voice leads me to my stock standard response;

"I'm not taking requests."

As an avid people watcher, I'm often observing details in clothes and accessories worn by people I see on a regular basis.  And yes, in my mind I have 'favourite things' I like to see them in, I will sometimes say things like 'I do like the colour of those shoes on you', but would I be so bold, on a day you're wearing a DIFFERENT pair, to point out my preference?  Am I not indirectly saying


'what you are wearing, does not please me, I suggest you make an effort to comply to my preferences in the future.'?

ER.. who am I?  Why would you care to please me? Why am I SO bold as to claim any level of ownership of your overall look?

Meh.

Recovering from an Abdominal Myomectomy Procedure Pt 2: Hospital Days, or OUCH! Zzzz.OUCH! Zzzz..

My first day in the hospital was rough. 

Although my morphine pump was removed at some point in the early morning, I couldn't stay awake for more than 30 minutes at a time with the drug still in my system.

A nurse dispensing Tramadol to ease my discomfort, explained I had been fitted with a catheter (standard practice) that they would remove later in the afternoon so I could try walking. For most of the day, I slept either lying on the bed or sitting up in the chair beside it. I tried reading a couple of times and realised that was a dead end. The whole ward was quiet with each patient getting to grips with their own pain levels and discomfort.

My fluid IV stayed in, until late morning so I didn't worry about being dehydrated. A few times during the day I was offered tea, biscuits and sandwiches. Everything felt super-dry with my tube-scratched throat and I couldn't even keep water down.  At some point that afternoon when my stomach still hadn't settled, I was given an anti-sickness injection. I was able to eat a little bit an hour later but had no real appetite for food.

I think I was deemed unready when the last shift were available to remove catheters so mine stayed in place until the next morning.

The next day, the first thing the chief nurse on duty announced firmly, was that my catheter was coming out and I was to try walking around the bed a few times during the day (as if I was resisting the effort - I was willing the day before - just not able!). I dutifully (and painfully) did two bed laps after I was freed from the catheter bag. An hour later I walked what felt like a mile to the bathroom, with no results once I was there.

Retreating back to the bedside seat, a Doctor told me I would be discharged that day. Eh???

I couldn't imagine walking clean across the hospital, enduring a bumpy, swerving car ride and walking up two external flights of stairs to get into my apartment at that point, but the Doctor was unimpressed. "yes, that shouldn't be a problem", he answered when I described my journey home.

I had a handful of visitors during the afternoon, all of whom were surprised to hear they almost missed me! By 7pm I was loaded up with all the medication I would need, and discharged..

Next post - Home sweet home.. or coughing is of the devil

Recovering from an Abdominal Myomectomy Procedure Pt 1 (or, Waiting Room Blues)

                                                                                    

On The Day of the Op..

                                                                                      Image: http://www.subodh.com

Nil by Mouth from What Time?

The only key advice I would give for your op day is take careful note of what time you need to stop eating and drinking. My admission time was 11am, I was advised to have a light breakfast by 6am and I was able to drink water up to 10am.

Admission is a Slooooooow Process..

1.    Be prepared to answer the same questions, over and over again in the pre-op sessions with a variety of professionals.
 

2.    Don't forget to take with you, any medication you use regularly so they can double-check that none of it will conflict with anaesthesia or any of the pain medication they administer in the hospital.
 

3.    Take whatever you need to pass the time, I took my mini iPad and charger so I had the choice of reading on the Kindle or playing games while I waited. I was at the hospital for more than 4 hours before actually being wheeled through to the op room. There are many pre-op checks (pregnancy, blood pressure levels, heart rate, ECG etc), but each takes no more than 5 - 10 minutes before you're deposited back in the waiting room. At some point, an anaesthetist will meet you to go though the type of anaesthesia applicable to you, answer any questions or concerns you may have, and ask questions on your medical history including any previous operations.
  

Immediate Recovery

Immediate recovery was a blur. My op was longer than planned and I came to quite late in the day.

My anaesthetist had explained the self-administering morphine button before I went under (also known as the PCA - patient controlled analgesia, a handheld device which you press every time you want to give yourself a dose of the pain killer). I was reminded how to use it as I came to, and my night began. I was monitored heavily that first night due to complications during surgery so my sleep was regularly interrupted by tests, but with anaesthesia still in my system along with the morphine, I was out for the count as soon as each test was complete, sometimes before the nurses were finished!

Thanks for reading! Please do comment below with your own experiences!

Next post on this topic “Hospital Days, or OUCH! Zzzzzzz.OUCH! Zzzzzzz..” 

Further Reading

British Fibroid Trust 

http://www.britishfibroidtrust.org.uk/myomectomy.php

Preparing for an Abdominal Myomectomy Procedure Pt 2 (or, is it HOT in here or is it just me?)

Preparing for Op-Day

 

1.       Weight Loss

A few months before the op, my consultant advised me not to put on any more weight.

Studies show that remaining within a set variation of your ideal Body Mass Index (BMI), statistically reduces complications during and after an operation. While I permanently reside above my personal BMI, I was apparently just under the 'danger zone'.

I have never been on a diet, and have a real aversion to the idea. My plan after speaking to the specialist was to change something simple about my eating habits in order to maintain my current weight. If that resulted in me losing a little, even better!

That's where smoothie-making came in. I resolved to introduce more (alright - some!) fruit and veg into my daily diet. It worked a breeze, I dropped a little weight and gained a bit of energy in the process.

2.      Zoladex Injections

For three months prior to the op, I received Zoladex injections.

Zoladex implants prevent the production of certain types of hormones in the body. It is used to stop monthly cycles and hopefully shrink fibroids prior to surgery.

When to Take Zoladex

I had my first injection in the first week of my cycle three months prior to my op date, and a further two injections every four weeks.

I was also given Livial Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) which I elected not to take. Call me hard-headed, but I didn't want to start medication to combat symptoms I hadn't even experienced. The side effects started approx. 3 - 4 weeks after the first injection and became progressively worse over the course of the last two months.

Suggestion: Zoladex injections must be taken within a very tight window, With timely GP appointments hard to come in the UK, make sure you book your GP appointments for injections well in advance, you can always cancel if your operation is rescheduled.


Zoladex Side Effects

Hot flashes!!  Imagine sitting in a huge pot on a low-to-medium simmer while in a meeting trying to remain professional and pay attention. It’s a MASSIVE distraction trying to ignore regular bouts of prickling fire in your chest, heat gradually creeping up to your hair follicles and visible sweat all over your face and hairline at random times throughout a working day.

Image:http://cocoafab.com/

Then there was trouble sleeping due to night sweats. Waking up burning.. Throwing off covers. Waking up FREEZING, scrambling to find the edge of the duvet and pull it up to your chin.. Far too much activity when there is another busy work day ahead next day.

I must admit I was blasé about hot flashes, "..what's so bad about a  bit of heat?", but facing the same symptoms in the future and knowing they may last for years, I could definitely see myself opting for HRT.

As you can imagine, disrupted sleep and managing hot flashes during the day contribute to a feeling of fatigue. 

I also felt thirsty all the time, I was nauseas in weeks 2-3 after the first injection and my whole body was itching all day, EVERY day, after my third injection.

Another side effect to mention was the emotional roller-coaster, sudden tears  - perhaps better described as sudden grief, with no basis and no letup was a shock. That stage lasted only a week but after a couple of rough days I was relieved to re-check Zoladex side effects and put my mind at ease that I wasn't having a minor breakdown!

Knowing I was going through a very short (3 month) tunnel with light at the end made the season bearable.

If you have been prescribed Zoladex for any reason, I would be interested to hear what side affects you experienced. Feel free to comment below..

Thanks for reading! Next post on this topic “Op day and Immediate Recovery”.

Further Reading

Body Mass Index (BMI)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index

Zoladex

http://www.drugs.com/zoladex.html

Livial

http://www.medicines.org.uk/guides/Livial/Hormone%20replacement%20therapy

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy

Smoothie-Making: And the Winner This Month is..

My favourite taste this month has been my kale, banana, coconut water, satsuma and green grape combo. Definitely deserving of a blog post for the many mornings I have switched from my chosen pre-prepped freezer bag, in order to make this.

Favourite: Banana, kale, satsuma, green grapes, coconut water.. more kale.

A quarter of peeled lemon or a nub of peeled ginger gives the combo a nice twist but it’s also great with no variations.

Love it!

Do share any favourites of your own below, I'm always trying new combo's..